tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58281382011-04-22T10:24:59.106+08:00[u]nderneath i cr[y]If you like poems, do come in an read my poems. Tag my board and comment on it. Thankx. All welcome.Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comBlogger1731100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1117692024166080202005-06-02T13:56:00.000+08:002005-06-02T14:00:24.173+08:00!THIS BLOG IS NOW DECLARED DEAD BY AUTHOR!NEW SITE IS FOUND HERE.please update your links.Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1116938021600970402005-05-24T20:11:00.000+08:002005-05-24T20:33:41.616+08:00i love you.Nicole.had MT block period in the morning.VEP in after recess.assembly was some pep talk about O levels.fall-in for ncc.(can't wait to get out i tell ya.)went home.met nicole.bumped into david.exchanged weird smiles.went home.pk-ed with rampaged.got home.cleaned the burning microwave.=Xnow blogging.boring?my sentiments exactly.am i what people think i am?Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1116647803361361442005-05-21T11:52:00.000+08:002005-05-21T11:56:43.366+08:00blogger in chinese?topped class for English.rising in PKSG.MT O Level drawing closer.weeks are hanging loose.friends leaving singapore.loved ones leaving singapore.people sucking up to me.changing my mindset.i'm growing up.i'm scared.dear, hold me.tight.The PK-ing PastryTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1116220613727296412005-05-16T13:05:00.000+08:002005-05-16T13:16:53.733+08:00Day Eightfinally its all over.DNT was all shit.didn't study much except for electronic components.had gastric during the paper.didn't have enough energy.or concentration.so in other words.that's one more paper gone down the drain.went to MacDonalds for breakfast with evil twin.slacked and talked.he let me listen to MCR on his CD player.i guess its the first thing that made me smile.^_^11th JuneTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115993264380341332005-05-13T22:03:00.000+08:002005-05-13T22:07:44.386+08:00Day Seveni screwed it all up.went home after the papers.tricked for awhile at interchange.met up with Nicole.dragged myself through Orchard.slacked at the playground till we ran outta sunlight.=Tsometimes the best things to say is nothing at all.hahaha.for some strange reason,i'm feeling all tired.will write when i'm more sane.later you little people of Earth.South African Ninjitsu Team ??Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115884409396156772005-05-12T15:38:00.000+08:002005-05-12T15:53:29.510+08:00Day Sixphysics was okayy.i don't think i'm gonna get A2.probably a B4 at the most.sigh.i'm starting to get exhausted of studying.tomorrow i'm having two major papers.Accountings II.Maths II.i need to cry already.managed to catch my dear on the way home.lol.i need you so bad.its so fucking cold today.keep me warm with this touch of yours.can you feel my heart beating?yes, its beats are Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115807436238026532005-05-11T18:14:00.000+08:002005-05-11T18:30:36.316+08:00Day FiveAccountings I was a breeze.i just hope i'll do reasonably well.=Xwent to school at 10.30.watch Beverly Hill Ninjas on HBO.quite funny.did a little research on capoeira and bdancing.interesting i must say.breakfast was the usual chocolate cake and coffee.haha.went to MacDonalds and slacked for awhile before tuition.same table, same friend.lol.there was the mentally disturbed lady.she kept Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115709865424737942005-05-10T15:10:00.000+08:002005-05-10T15:24:25.476+08:00Day FourMaths I was manageable.18pgs.didn't quite complete it but i did most of the easier questions.History was a pain in the hand.quite literally.was straining my hand to hold my pen and write.i struggled through somehow.Russia came out for SEQ.China came out for SBQ.just my luck i picked Russia to study.heh.=]dear.thanks for staying up with me last night.couldn't have done it without you.i Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115619271071980522005-05-09T13:55:00.000+08:002005-05-09T14:14:31.126+08:00Day Threei'm still fighting strong.Social Studies was okay.Merger and Seperation came out for SEQ.Chemistry is a headache.Lindsay Lohan's song Over kept ringing in my head.urgh!I'm gonna need a miracle to passwent home.slept.woke up.blogged.then gonna crash my books.-_-was late for school this morning.lol.my dad and i were like shaking our heads.morning drivers are a major upset.no wonder no one Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115368479063706052005-05-06T16:24:00.000+08:002005-05-06T16:34:39.180+08:00Day Two.argh. i think i screwed up my MT paper.totally.Paper I was a drag.Paper II was a sleeping test.sigh.its difficult.even my evil twin agreed.last night.pure shit.don't wanna talk about it.took a bus to church.picked up the letter.ran across the street.just in time the bus came.then ran back home.first time i chuckled to myself.running in the rain is so rejuvenating.so refreshing.so Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115283422035662632005-05-05T16:38:00.000+08:002005-05-05T16:57:45.583+08:00Day One.i think i screwed my english paper.Paper I was a total crap.I wrote about some essay."We should stop life support for patients in a vegetative state."urgh.Paper II was even worse.The comprehension was easy shit.The summary kinda struggled with it.Lack of points.The thing that bothered me the most was that i finished like half an hour before the paper ended.ARGH!!*guilty conscious*i Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115197791793349882005-05-04T16:51:00.000+08:002005-05-04T17:09:51.940+08:00i love you.i hate wednesdays.its the longest days of the week.sigh.i'm feeling really stressed out now.something in me wants to give up everything.but i'm still pushing myself.don't how long more before i break down.i need my baby.=had cme paper today.yep, a buncha crap.i even had time to do some graffiti.tml is an english paper.speaking of which, my english teacher complimented me today.she saidTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1115116143621092232005-05-03T18:18:00.000+08:002005-05-03T18:29:03.623+08:00All That I've GotThe UsedI'll be just fine.Pretending I'm not.I'm far from lonely.And its all that i've got.feeling emo.i guess listening to The Used and A7X does have its effects.heh.watched Infection with Nikole on Monday.No, i dunnoe what the hell its about.but i do know after the movie,i'm infected*hee.went to eat lunch.took neoprints.lol.damn funny.candid shots.you get the idea.exams Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114827752927714712005-04-30T10:13:00.000+08:002005-04-30T10:22:32.926+08:00Clairvoyant DiseasebyAvenged SevenfoldThere's nowhere to run and hidewhen you're living to dieStuck alone inside your head,better off deadThe phone would ring in the empty house,no one's around.first time i heard Avenged Sevenfold.their music is quite good though.nice lyrics.heh.baby, i'm sorry i couldn't go today.don't worry.i'm gonna work my ass of for monday.keep it for me.*muacks*now i've gotTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114768393269951312005-04-29T17:47:00.000+08:002005-04-29T17:53:13.270+08:00STAGE 1 COMPLETED.woo hoo.i can't believe it.friday.like i mentioned earlier.it sucks.lol.enough said.the weekend's here.i've got a monday to look forward to.*smiles innocently*ghost hunt was cancelled.my dad was recovering from a fever.too risky. he's the only one who knows how to handle these things.i don't wanna take any chances.hmm.dear, neoprints are too small.but i won't mind Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114682361983701362005-04-28T17:34:00.000+08:002005-04-28T17:59:21.983+08:00Nikole.there. i've mentioned u in my blog already.lol.i realised thursdays are always the most laziest days of the week.and friday is always a busy one.managed to finish part of my folio.the death line has been extended.phew.just my luck.the operation salvation ended today.finally.all those sleazy afternoons.on how to improve english.come to think of it.i rarely paid attention.was busy drawing Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114591884537817782005-04-27T16:43:00.000+08:002005-04-27T16:51:24.540+08:00Thy Mournful LoverbyMacbethCome to me,silent and dressed in black,in your eyes I can see all your obscure passion.Brush my skin with your pale handsand kiss my neck with your cold lips.You'll appear when the moon shineshigh in the skyand I'll see your cerulean facebrightened up by the candles flame.You'll whisper to me mysteriousdark love wordsand in this long night our soulswill be joined Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114517886928296342005-04-26T20:03:00.000+08:002005-04-26T20:18:06.930+08:00Kuuipo.last sunday was a blast.watched Be Cool.it was "hot".hahaha.=Pended it off with arcade.i will never forget.never will, my darling.can we live the night again?where we goths reign?hahahaha.my evil plan is gonna work out.i'm sure of it.totally.definitely.i've gotta move while time is on my side.coffee gets me hyper in the morning.red bull is additional.but baby, its you that fuels me.death Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114260908835640122005-04-23T20:31:00.000+08:002005-04-23T20:55:08.836+08:00In my handsA legacy of memoriesI can hear you say my nameI can almost see your smileFeel the warmth of your embraceBut there is nothing but silence nowAround the one I lovedIs this our farewell?memories again.sigh.Speech Day Parade was a blast.with the exception of minor cock-ups.but what made me satisfied about my hard work.was when my flag made a smooth entry on the salute.hee.after that made aTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1114174361809043932005-04-22T20:19:00.000+08:002005-04-22T20:52:41.810+08:00I know I left too much mess And destruction to come back again And I caused but nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me againlistening to White Flag.brings back so much memories.i can still remember being a goth.black boots, black jeans, black double shirt.existing only in the presence of the night.shunning myself out from society.staying up late in the nights.indulging in sweet Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1113388162647173382005-04-13T18:13:00.000+08:002005-04-13T18:29:22.650+08:00in the rain.sometimes things get so messy,you can't get out of it.everyday is becoming a drag.i drown myself in pills.i cut myself like there's no end.but i still wake up the next morning.and the chronicles of my life begins all over.school is stupid.my brain is wrecking.my heart is dying.my body is aching.work is unfinished.stains of blood remain.games are played.hearts are broken.why are angelsTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1113301322422228892005-04-12T17:59:00.000+08:002005-04-12T18:22:02.423+08:00shadow cut.life is pretty much the same.death.love.life.school.yes, not forgetting my wrist.the scars never seem to heal.even if it did, inside i'm pretty much the same.suicidal, homocidal.you'll get the picture.late afternoons in school.i can't stand it anymore.scribbles on test papers.frustrations through my pen.and i barely get a ten.its been long since i wrote a poem.here's another one.i sit Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1112863517330905982005-04-07T16:35:00.000+08:002005-04-07T16:45:17.330+08:00confusion.one of my friends got caught for jumping off the second floor.he almost got expelled from school.some people just don't understand the meaning of parkour.watch. act. disappear.simple and effective.get it in your head if you wanna try to pk.my school won Silver for SYF comp.some vocal on song thingy.sweet.everyone in class is simply exhausted.i can't agree more.i'm feeling tired too.but Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1112606753125501062005-04-04T17:14:00.000+08:002005-04-04T17:25:53.126+08:00how can you read me?when the pages areall torn and frayed.don't try to fix me.i'm not broken.Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1112494609943724622005-04-03T10:05:00.000+08:002005-04-03T10:16:49.946+08:00silver and cold.pk-ed at Orchard with a couple of my friends.went home.watch 2Fast2Furious.slept at 2am.woke up.groggy.homicidal.suicidal.major headache.life is a box of panadols.go figure.its difficult for me.i don't know about you.but i feel myself pretending.i feel myself lying from you.why did things turn out this way?the day i met you.the day you asked me a question.i replied you with a Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1112264264594869912005-03-31T17:58:00.000+08:002005-03-31T18:17:44.596+08:00life's daily beatings.passed my accountings test.got a promotion in martial arts.Nart said goodbye.i guess i was wrong when i said things can't get any worse.been crying sleepless nights lately.my pillow is always soaked with tears.i hate to wake up in the morning with sore eyes.i hate having to lie about my sore eyes.going to school looking all tired and sick.i think if i go on at this rate, Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1111661605805421282005-03-24T18:47:00.000+08:002005-03-24T18:53:25.806+08:00dear devil.i've done a thousand sins in your favour.i screwed my relations with Nart.withdrew myself from Missyhid.lost contact with DJ and Spyk3.i've cut myself countless times.with you whispering over my shoulder.people always look at me with disgust.the rate of suicide is too fast for me.paranoia consumes me like you consume me.homocide, suicidebeen pushed aside for too long.i can't describe Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1110946604111431962005-03-16T12:07:00.000+08:002005-03-16T12:16:44.113+08:00back.woke up feeling like shit.my hair is not going the way i want it to.my clothes aren't supposed to be this way.my face is as fucked up as always.its times like these i feel like killing myself.the world is cursing itself upon me.i forsee so many things.yet i'm all laidback.watch everything fly past me.i want to cry.but i can't.i want to scream.but i can't.i want to cut.but i can't.i want to Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1110448633936560442005-03-10T17:22:00.000+08:002005-03-10T17:57:13.936+08:00fallen this dreams.more reasons for me to contemplate suicide.life is a tub of blood.look, i'm drowning.i don't know what i'm gonna do.i wanna crash everything.counting the days before i leave.feeling hardcore emo today.nerves on the left wrist.all broken.can barely feel any pain.it bleeds easily still.this one's for a friend.faded unwritten words.spoke to me today.we had something going on.but iTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1110368145182699922005-03-09T19:11:00.000+08:002005-03-09T19:35:45.183+08:00rising sun.first time today.i laughed so hard.was hanging out withmirza, evil twin, brandon, joel and some others.don't know if i can ever laugh like that again.that very few minutes of carefree feeling was simply.great.i've been asked to do a video.for some MTV competition.i'm thinking parkour.school punk style.haha.any takers?there's a cash prize.gonna slack thru thursday.chem paper on Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1110267646758097942005-03-08T15:35:00.000+08:002005-03-08T15:40:46.760+08:00street magik.it must be that i'm dreaming.cause a girl just asked for my number.accountings was all screwed up.calculation errors.fuck it.sunday i'm leaving.school's ending.work is piling.sigh.things can't get any worse than this.what's with the world?Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1110097367702502192005-03-06T15:58:00.000+08:002005-03-06T16:22:47.780+08:00great.just what i needed.now everyone has got a grudge against me.its either i'm that blind or stupid.yes its always me.its always my fault.things are changing way too fast.i can't keep up.like you used to say.i'm just an ordinary boy.everyone is sitting around.pondering.on the day i breakdown.why pretend to care.when deep down inside.you just want to break me apart.stop and listen.not to me but Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1109756439596922012005-03-02T17:27:00.000+08:002005-03-02T17:42:26.733+08:00i finally figured it all out.this is it.after i get my results.you won't hear from me.ever.if its what you always wanted.you've got it.my mind is now fixed on it.and no, i'm staying hard-line.everything is about you.go on, criticise me.i'm waiting for you.keep pushing.eventually i'm going over.over the edge.i can't wait for you to smile.when i'm finally dead.how life is so much easier.for Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1109586593731725472005-02-28T18:15:00.000+08:002005-02-28T18:31:14.473+08:00its like no matter what i do,i can't convince youthat this is realwent to see the release of the o level results. the hall was super intense. i could have pee-ed in my pants if it was me. went to the carpark and played catching again. we stopped half way cause it rained. //grumble.btw, for those who have been trying to call, sms or prank me, i'm sad to say you can't anymore. won't say no more.hadTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1109336260510257402005-02-25T20:29:00.000+08:002005-02-25T20:57:40.513+08:00papercut.its a friday. finally. another week passed. i'm still surprised that i survived the week though. the pressure's building on. i'm sick of school.afterglow movies were postponed. -_-" played catching with my evil twin, brandon, joel, alphonso, ian, elisha and bayasakh. sweet game i should say. brandon took a hard hit to his left ankle after landing at a slope. it wasn't so bad at least. Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1109066524451757562005-02-22T17:41:00.000+08:002005-02-22T18:02:04.453+08:00parkour was out on the papers on sunday. there's still a lil controversy among some traceurs in pksg. but no biggie. everything should be solved by now. there were two new threads. newbies/grunts saying their hellos and wanting recognition in the parkour scene.-_-"school sucks big time lately. i got caught for wearing my ninja socks. and was asked to change shoes cause they had no laces in it. Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1108794654517383862005-02-19T13:57:00.000+08:002005-02-19T14:51:06.056+08:00woke up feeling like i'm still stuck in a dream. something was missing though. i don't know what exactly. i laid in bed listening to emo music again. i never realised my room was so pale. =Xbtw nicole, just ignore the poem i wrote in the previous entry. i was just feeling...shitty. heh. the weather's been taking its toll on me. its so easy to be dehydrated these days. played ultimate frisbee Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1108546749670982382005-02-16T17:07:00.000+08:002005-02-16T17:39:09.673+08:00three tests in one day. what more can i ever expect. sec4 is shit. hardcore shit. sigh.had chemistry test aft recess. uhm. i'd say i did fairly well. might fail by a bit but at least i tried. heh. then maths test during the last lesson. one word. shit. everything was taught so long ago. i didn't study for the test at all. neither did the entire class. oh wells. its past me now. then rushed off Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1107425717355291802005-02-03T17:27:00.000+08:002005-02-03T18:15:51.500+08:00
caught some flow on the way back home. did some underbars, lazy, monkey, kong, double kong, dash, kash.
i guess i haven't lost my touch on the flow. hahaha. it felt so good to have adrenaline pumping through me again. so much till i forgot to stop buy the bookshop to get a new penknife. my current one if totally bust. all rusty shitty. dun wanna die of infections. =X
browsing through Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1107164703573619932005-01-31T17:11:00.000+08:002005-01-31T17:45:03.573+08:00
I feel irrational
So confrontational
To tell the truth
I am getting away with murder
it is impossible
to never tell the truth
but the reality is I'm getting away with murder
(Getting away, Getting away, Getting away)
listening to getting away with murder by papa roach. sweet.
called her again. asked for her blog. but she was somewhat reluctant. damn i made a fool outta myself. i always screw Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1106732148072145992005-01-26T17:02:00.000+08:002005-01-26T17:35:48.073+08:00
i'm starting to get really exhausted. tired of seeing the same old things. maybe the only things that ever changes in my life is my wounds. its sorta fascinating watching them heal. even though i'm still not cured inside. sigh.
my dnt deadline is tomorrow. and as expected. i haven't done a single thing. to top it off, i've got other homework to do. argh. stress. but i'm beginning to lose Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1106650346507292322005-01-25T18:36:00.000+08:002005-01-25T18:52:26.506+08:00
i just blew up.
feels like i can't control myself anymore.
i was shouting at my brother.
was pissed off at him.
his attitude problem.
pissed me off totally.
lately i've been trying to keep everything in.
school problems.
with all the screwed up tests.
social problems.
with everyone going away.
fuck love.
it never was true.
it just wants to hurt.
sigh.
but i blew it up today.
coughed up some Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1106558161891298842005-01-24T16:32:00.000+08:002005-01-24T17:16:01.890+08:00
.screaming.inside.
was walking towards the school gate today. then memories of him seeped in my mind. i still can't figure out how dumb and foolish i used to be.
all the times he controlled me.
all the lies he told me.
all the fake promises.
all the things he did for me.
all the sundays he woke me up.
all the things he did to me.
i still don't know how i can go on like this. i've tried toTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1106370434944423572005-01-22T13:54:00.000+08:002005-01-22T13:07:14.943+08:00
thanks YOU
for breaking my heart
thank YOU
for messing me up
thank YOU
for playing with my feelings
thank YOU
for giving me a cold heart
thank YOU
for opening up those wounds again
thank YOU
for leaving me
thank YOU
sigh. fucked up com that won't even work properly. windows movie maker keeps hanging up on me. just like everyone.
Missyhid: i'll be happy to teach you any moves you want. just Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1106136105264656502005-01-19T19:10:00.000+08:002005-01-19T20:01:45.263+08:00
lost.
past few days have been one hell of a rush. everything is passing by so quickly. i don't know if i can keep this up. i'm falling behind. =X
went for the NYP openhouse today. pure chaos. so many things going on around. i simply followed the guide around. it was kinda boring esp when they were showing you this and that and that and this.
-_-"
met up with missyhid. met her friend jas. saidTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105850984533694082005-01-16T13:19:00.000+08:002005-01-16T12:49:44.533+08:00
great. the world has shut itself out on me. it sucks to feel this way.
then there's this impending fear of failing in everything else. school. life. love? parkour is my only salvation for now. i might have to look else where once my freedom is taken away. probably back to sad punk rock music, cutting myself and tasteless panadols.
there's this part of me inside that just wants to cry Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105758442446092992005-01-15T10:50:00.000+08:002005-01-15T11:07:22.446+08:00
another hacked and edited picture. =D taken from My Chemical Romance official website. hehx. the editing part is the most boring one. *yawn*
neways, i'm recovering fine now. headaches are almost gone. though still a tiny bit still remains. fever is subsiding. woo hoo.
all the more i can perform today. =] hehex. i might purposely go out earlier. find a nice place to flow. warm up a lil. do a Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105677761527608822005-01-14T10:38:00.000+08:002005-01-14T12:42:41.526+08:00
stuck at home for the day. been listening to Chemical Romance - I'm Not Ok. their new album Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. and they are way better than the Rasmus. heh. watched the video too. damn nice. here's the lyrics.
Screen opens with two guys sitting on the stairs talking.
"You like DND, Audrey Headburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and Kerkay.
You can't swim. You can't dance and you Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105615413084369422005-01-13T18:48:00.000+08:002005-01-13T19:23:33.086+08:00
if you wanna fall sick, here's a simple tip.
just wet your head and go to sleep. your room must preferrably be air conditioned.
heh.
currently i'm running a slight fever. and major headaches. and as you might have guessed, i went to sleep with my hair still wait. and i thought stupidity was only a word. hahax. am i making any sense?
anyways, school was crap as ever. woke up with a slight Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105524372107671812005-01-12T17:14:00.000+08:002005-01-12T18:06:12.106+08:00sick and tired.
the world is turning its back on me. and i'm spiralling downwards again. it sucks everytime i have to put on a fake smile. sigh.
woke up this morning. felt a pulse of enthusiasm. but it didn't last for very long. breakfast was just a few pieces of cold bread. i hate breakfasts. esp when there's nothing much to eat.
was in school early. decided to jaywalk. too lazy to walk all Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105443740815469022005-01-11T19:21:00.000+08:002005-01-11T19:42:20.816+08:00banzai! first time i finished changing my blog layout within 2days. i used to take a week or so to complete the entire coding.
btw do drop comments on the tagboard kay? compliments and constructive critisism are welcomed. =]
neways, school was shit as ever today. i woke up this morning and totally did not want to attend school at all. just felt like jamming the entire day instead. but i Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105354007694291732005-01-10T18:45:00.000+08:002005-01-10T18:46:47.693+08:00SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1105006427917162582005-01-06T17:46:00.000+08:002005-01-06T18:13:47.916+08:00emo.
just came back from a short jam with spyk3. went to his house aft school to watch the vids missyhid took. and yup yup. the roof jump was totally sweet shit. i love the rolls. hahax.
my fingers were itching in the bus. so i took out my phone and started snapping photos with it.
hehex. spyk3 was so reluctant to take a photo. spyk3, you rly shld smile more. hahax.
Gingerbread man & Spyk3
Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104919861525821762005-01-05T17:41:00.000+08:002005-01-05T18:11:01.526+08:00just came back from a short jam. tired.
missyhid : help me upload the pics to my photo album. call me. i'll give you the password.
djvica: its nice to see my bro again. been missing your company and presence. hee. (not in a gay sense though) =P
spyk3 : cheer up dude. i rly wasn't in the mood to do that roof run. some other time okay? i promise.
bahx. wish i cld stay a little longer. my Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104749561372888412005-01-03T17:45:00.000+08:002005-01-03T18:52:41.373+08:00first day of school. not so good.
it was raining in the morning. perfect for a sleep in. but had to force my ass outta bed. took a cold shower to kick myself awake. was freezing when i stepped out of the shower. how fcking smart can i be?
went to school. saw john paul. could sense nervousness in him. don't know why. it justs happens. =X i was kinda nervous too. revealed to him who our form Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104421961289132802004-12-30T23:35:00.000+08:002004-12-30T23:52:41.306+08:00bbq was alright. not much madness as i had expected. food seemed edible. tasted like food. smelled like food. looked like food. lolx. but heck was kinda hungry. so i just grabbed anything that was within reach. =T
had a nice lonely walk back home. the air was super cooling. the sky was cloudy. the roads were silent. sighx. i just love such silence. i guess it was the solitude i've been looking Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104379301968599072004-12-30T11:25:00.000+08:002004-12-30T12:01:41.966+08:00had my first night jam ytd. was kinda short. but i appreciated it anyways. now i shld work on my underbar. butt still hurts a lil tho. =X
did i mention there are a couple of gap jumps around my area? gosh. its so sweet. missyhid kinda freaked out standing there. tried encouraging her but she just wasn't prepared. yeah the gap was a lil mind boggling. considering the fact there is no runway. justTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104295220350838222004-12-29T13:08:00.000+08:002004-12-29T12:46:20.580+08:00as expected. woke up this morning. emo. sad. depressed. still can't find a reason why i'm feeling this way. sighx. maybe its cause school is starting. =[
managed to secure my pk pics in australia. just in case my com crashes or smthing.
me doing a tic tac variation on a tree.
palmspin.
blind jump. gotta admit was kinda freaked out cause the wall was so high. =X
a close up of the blind Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104235983709471182004-12-28T19:53:00.000+08:002004-12-28T20:13:03.710+08:00the thought of school is ever impending. sighx. i don't want to start school just yet.
but i want to pk around the school compund. just for the heck of it. well, having the risk of getting caught is a different story. hahax. at the most i'll just hafta do a write up of my actions. get warned. lolx. government property? fck it.
bleaghx. been wanting a few things lately. i see importance in Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1104196695038368172004-12-28T09:03:00.000+08:002004-12-28T09:29:29.383+08:00Oh, why you look so sad,
The tears are in your eyes,
Come on and come to me now.
And don’t be ashamed to cry,
Let me see you through,
’Cause I’ve seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you,
You don’t know what to do,
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less.
I’ll stand by you,
I’ll stand by you,
Won’t let nobody hurt you,
I’ll stand by you.
So, if you’re mad, get madTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1103957728461505772004-12-25T14:33:00.000+08:002004-12-25T14:55:28.460+08:00Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll have woke up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence,
I know -You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'd be sacrificed,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1103706498697635472004-12-22T16:48:00.000+08:002004-12-22T17:08:18.696+08:00emo.
just came back from ncc annual camp tday. i'm tired.but i'll blog anyways.
the urge to flow is creeping on me everyday. its so addictive. can't stop thinking of it. i read t0rched's blog. one of his entries said a true traceur should have ultimate balance and discipline. been thinking of it. i guess it is true.
but then again. how can things be balanced and disciplined at the same time Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1103277189297648132004-12-17T17:10:00.000+08:002004-12-17T17:53:09.296+08:00madness. total. madness.
just feel like crying right now. so many things are plummeting further and further outta control. the disease is eating me as always. i can't help it.
my mum wants me to stop pk. no more jamming sessions. no more going out. no more palmspins. no more dash vaults. monkey vaults. lazy vaults. switch vaults. scream vaults.
she says i'm starting to talk less to me brother.Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1102224198439619932004-12-05T13:00:00.000+08:002004-12-05T13:23:18.440+08:00my last entry. before i leave for australia tonight. terminal 2. row 5. sighx. i am so not looking forward to it. this anxious feeling is consuming me as always. i just hope ten days would pass like a breeze. i can't stand being away from pksg. =X
yesterday's jam at orchard was kinda screwed up. we were always being chased away by security. argh! but i had fun anyways. =] i met new people. Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1101893685527717362004-12-01T17:10:00.000+08:002004-12-01T17:34:45.526+08:00sighx. i tried doing a little changes. blardy codes. urgh! i think i might change the entire layout soon. if i have the time. =X
my schedule is running tight already. i have Blue Mt meeting on friday. Buskers Festival on Saturday. Sunday is my last day in singapore. i'll be back only 10 days later. so don't miss me too much. then again. who does?
anyways, i went for a jam session ytd. met a fewTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1101618985538905472004-11-28T13:11:00.000+08:002004-11-28T13:16:25.536+08:00hello empty space. sighx. as usual i'm on the down side of life tday. ltr i gotta go attend my mum's graduation ceremony at the Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel.
fuck all the formality. smart wear. long sleeve. neck tie. long pants. black shoes.
i feel like i'm attending a funeral instead. sighx. there's supposedly to be a jam session at sembawang tday. but i can't go. all thanks to this blardyTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1101111520350200782004-11-22T15:54:00.000+08:002004-11-22T16:18:40.350+08:00Everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside
Why am I scared
What am I afraid of
I don't even know
This story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never..never..Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1100694659772710482004-11-17T20:05:00.000+08:002004-11-17T20:30:59.773+08:00alright. let's recap for the day. the earlier entry i wrote was kinda screwed. but oh wells. now i'm in the mood to blog. =T
hmmx. woke up early today. 0645hrs. went to macritchie reservoir for my blue mt training. it was supposedly to start at 0900hrs. so i ended up waiting for quite some time. but hell. i'm so sick of staying at home. even if sitting at the bus stop for an hour or so.
then MrTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1100686012292099642004-11-17T18:04:00.000+08:002004-11-17T18:06:52.293+08:00banzai!! finally. i got some security around here. well, tday i went for Blue Mt training. then Mr Tuang came up to me and asked me if i had a website. and yes. he managed to stumbled upon Aden's little dark corner of life. so yeahx. hope that he won't be able to break through my line of defense. hehehex. well, i gtg now. sayonara!
Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1100225480460958102004-11-12T09:43:00.000+08:002004-11-12T10:11:20.460+08:00back again within these four blank walls. Sec2 Camp has ended. Spec Crse has ended. i'm free for the rest of the month. fark.
been in the mood for self-mutilizing myself lately. isolation is no exception. i just hate myself. argh. life just can't get any worse. Hari Raya is coming this sunday. might be using the money to get either an Mp3, iPod or a watch to cover up the scars on my wrists. yes Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1099745972873187972004-11-06T20:31:00.000+08:002004-11-06T20:59:32.873+08:00my com is up and running again. finally. urgh. so many things on my mind. i'm itching to pour it out.
Day 3 of Specialist Course ends tday. so many things have happened. been makin new friends. well sort of. =T been pushing myself beyond my limits. i must say. aft spec crse. i kinda become really quiet. i dunnoe why. its eerie. urgh. thanks so much spec crse. pfftt. tmlx is the passing out Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1098966547891146072004-10-28T19:59:00.000+08:002004-10-28T20:29:07.890+08:00there goes another day. all screwed up. ugh. my results aren't that good. =X oh wells. i dun wanna talk about it. just sets me in a more depressing state.
had NCC training aft school. didn't see it coming tho. there was some selection test for a parade. decided to compete against Wei Lun for CRSM. but fark. he won. he had more experience. =T oh wells. it was a good fight. then i decided to take Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1098848209949097762004-10-27T10:59:00.000+08:002004-10-27T11:36:49.950+08:00i wish i could scream out loud
that i love you
i wish i could tell you
don't go...
listening to Ace of Base now. Don't Turn Around. kinda depressing. but heck. i'm as depressed as i can be already. gotta go fer some dumb course at Nanyang Polytechnic. i volunteered to replace David. nice work Aden. look what you've got yourself into.
then again. look on the bright side. at least i get to go outTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1098433344378842602004-10-22T16:05:00.000+08:002004-10-22T16:22:24.376+08:00woo hoo. the week end is here again!! gosh i've been waiting for this moment to come. monday is my last paper. dnt. urgh. somehow there's this feeling inside of me. that i don't want to end this year just yet. so many things have happened.
i've made new friends. new alliances. got to know myself better. =T
gonna go LAN gaming on monday. enjoy as much as i can. before i get my results back. Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1098253436792467342004-10-20T13:49:00.000+08:002004-10-20T14:23:56.793+08:00there goes my history paper. i screwed up as usual. (sobx sobx) isn't there anyone to lend a shoulder for me to cry on? i feel so lonely now. you know. i really wouldn't be surprised if i find myself hanging on the ledge. waiting to take that last leap. to a deep sleep.
sighx. all these dementing thoughts never seem to escape me. i still had time to write a poem during my hist paper. but i'm tooTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1098160399545219052004-10-19T13:01:00.000+08:002004-10-19T12:33:19.546+08:00finally. got official access to my mum's com. dun ask how i got it. i just got it. =]
much has happened since the last time i wrote. now i'm hanging on the edge again.sick and tired of holding on. seems everything is but a lie. i've began cutting myself. as expected. the pain doesn't mean much to me. i am satisfied at the sight of my blood. i keep having these envisions. of me falling. yet Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1096549095939485442004-09-30T20:23:00.000+08:002004-09-30T20:58:15.940+08:00i know i haven't been updating fer ages now. sry kid_lydia. really i am. just tt i've been really stressed up with all the exams and stuff. i want to abandon myself and just go into a state of mental blankness. but things just keep hlding me back. the indecision to die or live. sighx.
i'm still suicidal none the less. i gotta face it. death is calling me. i think this is it. all has been laid Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095754198202156402004-09-21T15:53:00.000+08:002004-09-21T16:09:58.203+08:00sighx. i'm feeling down again. this sucks man. sighx.
~De gingerbreAd mAn~ .tools.of.dar.trade. // RANGER says:
heyy.
LYdDYsLYdD-thanks a ton for everything. i really enjoyed myself.whahha! says:
hey yo!
LYdDYsLYdD-thanks a ton for everything. i really enjoyed myself.whahha! says:
arden?
~De gingerbreAd mAn~ .tools.of.dar.trade. // RANGER says:
its Aden.
~De gingerbreAd mAn~ .tools.of.dar.tradeTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095575000913352802004-09-19T14:08:00.000+08:002004-09-19T14:23:20.913+08:00yayx. my ferst tyme eva. being able to write an entry on a Sunday. hehx. nth much happening arnd lately. caught up with some of my OBS fwens. finally some life in dar tag board. gosh. hehx. thanks pplx.
VXVXD TPWYB, glad you know dar coding language alrdy. so next tyme send me some codes. i'm itching to crack it. hahax. and if anyone needs some codes fer them to crack. email me or leave a Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095506833219403162004-09-18T19:17:00.000+08:002004-09-18T19:27:13.220+08:00i can't edit anything tday. my mum is in a bad mood. urgh. i so hate this. why is it my mum studies so hard. stresses herself out like crazy. then unleashes all her anger on me and my bro. i hate it. i want to scream back at her. but each time i'm held back by my own indecisions.
i can't even type loudly right now. she always makes me feel paranoid. ever since i was a lil kid. the same fear Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095432349529477192004-09-17T22:40:00.000+08:002004-09-17T22:45:49.530+08:00!woo hoo! finally. all my hard work has paid off. this is my ferst tyme re-editing my blog. its so filled with codes. try highlighting these words. or perhaps u think ctrl + v might work? hahax. think again. =P
hmmx. nth much tday. other than my brain is really feeling thrashed out. havin a lil headache i think. so yeahx. nt gonna write much tday. dar visit to science center was fun. i'd do Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095335936816621432004-09-16T19:45:00.000+08:002004-09-16T19:58:56.816+08:00come away, O human child!
to the waters and the wild.
with a fairy, hand in hand.
for the world's more full of weeping
than you can understand.
===========================
thread this land with soft feet.
upon the throne kings shall sit.
under the skies where lions cry.
folding pieces of paper into birds.
hoping someday they too would fly.
===========================
cry i shall till my bloodTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095253400082971362004-09-15T20:56:00.000+08:002004-09-15T21:03:20.083+08:00argh! i'm so stressed up rite now. doing my chem and maths. sighx. im feeling so flustered. i just can't concentrate. something's missing. i don't know what though. my mind is spinning in circles. sighx. i want to explode right now. right here. i want to cry it all out. i want to get a minute's break. i want a glass of water. i want to get out of this room. out of this town. out of this city. outTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1095242576536131002004-09-15T17:19:00.000+08:002004-09-15T18:02:56.536+08:00didn't write any entries ytd. all thanks to my dumb com. kept restarting. i was writing two poems and abt to finish dar entry of dar day. when this dumb com. hanged. urgh.
so i decided to forget abt writing. apparently, my inspirations were all gone. bleaghx.
!!SECONDARY OBJECTIVE HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED!!hehx. anotha BIG thank yew to kid_lydia. u rock! hahax. i really wldn't mind if u wanna joinTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1094867088887981112004-09-11T08:42:00.000+08:002004-09-11T09:44:48.886+08:00came bac frm mt ophir expd last nite. went online to add some new contacts. did a lil profile hacking. accomplished primary mission. still on hold for further details.
gave my mum a surprise visit along da way home. went to her workplace. she was so shocked to see me. lolx. managed to hitch a ride home frm one of her friends. woo hoo. at least i dun hafta walk all da way bac. kekex.
got home. Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1094349795121486792004-09-05T09:34:00.000+08:002004-09-05T10:03:15.120+08:00shattered pieces of these sins.
reflection of a haunt within.
i tried hard to resist.
crying out loud i wish.
all is wasted for me.
my wings never flying free.
essence of blood i breath.
whining dogs underneath.
you are far from eternity.
forget the solidarity of sanity.
i wish i could tell you here.
lay beside me, forget my fears.
i weep of bloodied cheeks.
in me you are who i seek.
caged up in Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1094266155770045642004-09-04T10:18:00.000+08:002004-09-04T10:49:15.770+08:00of you i dream.
these pains i scream.
darkness you painted.
life now played a secret.
needle and thread together.
lips of mine sealed forever.
stage curtains that draw apart.
reveal lies of bloodied darts.
behind masks we all hide.
seeping death's poison inside.
bend these arms just for wings.
falling down hard having nothing.
in the light of the moon i cry.
resisting temptations i try.
glide theTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1094195152507937192004-09-03T14:31:00.000+08:002004-09-03T15:05:52.506+08:00clouds are my days.
dark as the moon rays.
gone are the days of joy.
now life is but a toy.
endless tears that roll.
this insanity i can't control.
for you were once in me.
clearing the fog so i could see.
since you've left my heart.
even cupid lost his dart.
wash away my fears.
dreaming beside me you lay near.
sorrow of a beast.
suicide seemingly a disease.
led blindly by fools of two.
of Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1094129955580556762004-09-02T20:31:00.000+08:002004-09-02T20:59:15.580+08:00whisper slowly into my ears.
all that night has devoured.
into purple skies i fall.
with ease your name i call.
silk of stained blood upon my chest.
laying bed of nails my soul rests.
tearing of regrets i solidify.
broken as my wings no longer looking sky.
when you're gone i seek the pieces.
blade that cuts two now four a slices.
from the kingdom above i search for you.
even if sand turns water Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1094114137168670372004-09-02T16:27:00.000+08:002004-09-02T16:35:37.166+08:00its always coming back isn't it. all those memories. sighx. i keep having this picture of me with my wrist bleeding. crying in a corner. all the poems i've written strewn all over the floor. its just so difficult to get it out. like a disease of imaginations.
life's starting to get back to its usual dark side. i'm beginning to listen to Evanescence again. feel lost and empty. i tagged her site.Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1093857710183372932004-08-30T16:55:00.000+08:002004-08-30T17:21:50.183+08:00exams ended tday. bday passed like a shadow. rarely anyone noticed. oh wells. might as well get over with it. i'm 15 nw. nt some small kid to go arnd askin fer presents. hmmx. exams sucks totally. my results are lyk shit. forget my love life. it just as empty as it can be.
she's gone. seems a lil suicidal. ironically, she once told me not to do such things. hmmx. i'm starting to doubt her wordsTears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1093001036193510092004-08-20T19:13:00.000+08:002004-08-20T19:23:56.193+08:00sry pplx. i kno i haven't been updating. com went down. so nw im usin my mum's com. life's pretty much the same of the same loneliness. sighx. gothical? well, u decide. then there are weirdo pplx proclaiming their love fer me. *coughs* *coughs* sry. i'm allergic to bullshit. just dun believe in lurve anymore. its so fake. just a gamble of emotional risks.
my mum needs the com nw. i'll update Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1091096208180539932004-07-29T18:14:00.001+08:002004-07-29T18:16:48.180+08:00i wonder i wonder. hmmx. me. a heart of stone. kinda true if u ask me. sighx. =T
Heart of Stone What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1091096127439646862004-07-29T18:14:00.000+08:002004-07-29T18:15:27.440+08:00i wonder i wonder. =T heart of stone. lolx. kinda true if u ask me. sighx.
Heart of Stone What is Your Heart REALLY Made of? brought to you by Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1090831613778340722004-07-26T16:33:00.000+08:002004-07-26T16:46:53.776+08:00monday blues. blahx. went to sckewl feelin so tired. msged her till abt 11 ytd. who'd eva knew i cld haf talked so much within a short span of 24hrs. =T
i haf a feelin rama's gonna load me up wit hmwrk again. dammit. was chattin wit Faiz aka Afghan, Ignatius aka Durian Choc Chip, Ramanan aka Choc Chip, Jason aka noobj and Sultan aka Cyclops. hahax. had a nice tyme chattin and slackin arnd wiht 'Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1090498578564969372004-07-22T20:05:00.000+08:002004-07-22T20:16:18.563+08:00sighx. the parade is tmlx. it's gonna start at five. =X fuckin WL still dun wanna let me be the timer. urgh.
feelin a lil depressed too. most of my 'mates kept talkin abt the gurlx they were inviting. me? sighx. i broke off so many connections. i cry myself to sleep every night. the emptiness is just so. empty. =X
my dad's coming to the parade. woo hoo. but. so is my mum. =( of all pplx. i dun Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1090405062930126972004-07-21T17:57:00.000+08:002004-07-21T18:17:42.930+08:00sighx. life's pretty lonely lately. school's as busy as usual. ncc. homework. prject deadlines. sighx. tday's racial harmony if i'm nt wrong. saw all the other sckewls wearin civilian clothings. sighx. aite. i admit it. maybe deleting the gurlx numbers was a really bad idea. i have no one to talk to. =X but then again. maybe i shld let go of everyone. blahx.
anywayx, i got my post alrdy. i'm an Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1089801497743930052004-07-14T18:19:00.000+08:002004-07-14T18:38:17.743+08:00woo hoo. guess i must have underestimated the drama presentation. it soo rocks. sad, violent, anger. everything i once held inside of me was being played right before me. i tot it'd be just another dumb ol' drama tt wld make stoopit lame jokes. but wellx, it wasn't wht i tot it wld be.
somehow i felt a lil sad after the drama. =X learnt a very big lesson there. hehex. =)
sckewl was usual. with Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1089715847934584772004-07-13T18:37:00.000+08:002004-07-13T18:50:47.933+08:00tday was kinda different. must admit. life sure has its wonders. hmmx. i finally found my fave song!! i always loved this song. usually played over WKRZ but i never really got the opportunity to listen to it really close. i feel so. light hearted. =T
anyway, school wasn't tt bad tday. yeah it did suck when rama came along. but other than tt. i wasn't really feeling much depression inside. Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5828138.post-1089620023026076002004-07-12T15:53:00.000+08:002004-07-12T16:13:43.026+08:00i'm back. sighx. finally some silence. i can't take the noise around me. its just pushing me. sighx. i don't understand. why is it everything i keep trying to do. no one see's the pain. sighx.
the endless tears.
every night i cry.
this fight i lie.
no matter how hard.
i try.
the demons await me.
watching as i sleep.
i scream in pain.
as the angels.
sit and weep.
i onced said forever.
but knew Tears Ofhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07646282161247891702noreply@blogger.com